What would you do?

Sometimes you just have to face the facts. Admit it if you have made a mistake, try to make amends and perhaps try again, do it all over and just do it right. But sometimes you don’t know if you have chosen the right path or not right? Cause your heart is telling you one thing, your head another and your stomach is just torn. I hate that feeling, and honestly, in one way or another, I have to admit to the fact – that feeling is hunting me right now.

Three months ago I decided to give Stockholm a chance. Did I? Yes. But have I really gone all in? No, I don’t think so to be honest. Been traveling back and forth in between cities, making all kinds of excuses so I just not have to let go. Working, training, friends. But can I work from Stockholm? Oh yes I can. Is it possible to work out and exercise in Stockholm. Yes, definitely, it is actually more practical to do so in the city where you live instead of traveling 3 hours to get to a gym.

And friends, the people that probably mean the most to me in the whole wide world. Of course I do not want to leave them behind, but are they really friends, real friends, if we don’t stay in touch? The phone works both ways, so do emailing and texting. Today I know that it is not a problem, sometimes it feels like I talk to my beloved ones even more often than I did when I lived in Gothenburg. Sure, I miss them a lot, but it is all good. I am staying in touch with old friends, at the same time making new ones. Realizing every day that I am so blessed when I see to all the people that I have chosen to share my life with. Grateful, loving it. Glad to realize, this is my life.

Recently found out that I probably will be out of a job within 6 months. The company is not managing and has not recovered from the crisis. To be honest I am not too surprised, I sort of kind of knew that this would happen sooner or later, it has been a sinking ship for I do not know how long. And my genre is always the one that managements decides to cut back on first. Therefore I am glad if I will be able to stay on the boat after this latest release, but just to make sure, I have brought out my life jacket. Looking for new jobs, applying, hoping. Trying to anticipate and prevent.

Someone said that it was not to smart to move, not now when I have to look for new jobs. And yes, the easiest option for me would probably be to move back where I know people, have made contacts that might offer me new possibilities. But that is not to adapt, is it? In that same situation, what would you do?

I say it might have been dumb to move, but still. If I go for a job hunt, Stockholm is the place to be, 99 % of the jobs that I am interested in are here. But yes, suddenly my gut, my head and my heart are telling me different things, and now I don’t know what is best. For me. For now. Spoke to my sister, and she did the thing that she always does. She gave it to me up straight – the truth that is. Said that she understood my fears. That it was, is, scary to watch your life and the situation that you are in being turned upside down. But still, that I have to give Stockholm a chance. Throw myself out there. Fully. 100 %. All in.

Of course she is right, she almost always is which is strange since she is younger than me. But ok. Yesterday I left Gothenburg for real, and for once I do not have any more tickets for going back. Nor reasons. No return.

Finally – it is time for Stockholm to show me what she has to offer. And for me to let her. Am I sure that I am making the right decision? No, but can you ever be sure?